


I Bet My Life

by katastrophiclee



Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst, Friendship/Love, Newmas - Freeform, Newt/Thomas - Freeform, Sad Ending, im not sorry, this goes along with the story but i added newmas, tmr - Freeform, very very sad ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-11 23:44:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3337076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katastrophiclee/pseuds/katastrophiclee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt trusted Thomas, with anything and everything. He bet his all on his Tommy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Bet My Life

**Author's Note:**

> i recently got into the newt/thomas ship and since im trash i decided why not write something painful af so here ya go this is what i do to calm my need for newmas. sorry.

-I know I took the path you would never want for me/I know I let you down, didn't I?/So many sleepless nights where you were waiting up on me/Well I'm just a slave unto the night-  
Thomas didn't remember. He didn't remember. His eyes held no recognition when he looked at Newt, and Newt thanked his lucky stars that Thomas didn't remember. He had let Thomas down. Tommy had been watching him, he knew. All these years he was on the other side and Newt remembered him, albeit vaguely, but he knew when he had tried to die that Tommy saw, that someone saw who cared about him. He knew it was Thomas and he was so grateful that Thomas didn't know, didn't remember. Newt cared so much, so unbelievably much, he would never tell him that he remembered. That kind of grief, of leaving someone you loved that much, he couldn't make Thomas go through that again and witness it. Not his Tommy. For now, he would simply enjoy Thomas, how he was here and giving Newt small, extra smiles and holding onto his hand for another second and not looking away when Newt met his gaze.   
Newt was starting to fall.  
-Now remember when I told you that's the last you'll see of me/Remember when I broke you down to tears/I know I took the path you would never want for me/I gave you hell through all the years-  
"I remember." Thomas was biting his lip and clutching his side, where he had stung himself. Newt stood in the corner of the shack, eyes wide and he felt his heart rate pick up.  
He swallowed and tried to keep his voice steady. "Whaddya remember, Tommy?" Please not what I-  
"I remember you."  
Newt looked anywhere but the boy staring right at him.  
"Tommy-"  
"I remember everything about you, Newt." Thomas stood up and Newt flinched back and still avoided looking at his eyes. He kept silent, waiting for the words of hatred and scorn and dismissal. They didn't come. "I remember begging them to let me go in before you jumped." Newt's heart shattered and he squeezed his eyes shut. "They wouldn't let me, and-and I begged and I fought them." Thomas's voice held a sense of bewilderment. "I screamed at them. They had to sedate me. I wanted to save you. I had to save you. Because..." He trailed off and Newt let one tear fall.  
"I was so hopeless, Tommy." He didn't trust himself to say anything more.  
"Goddammit, Newt." Thomas put one hand on Newt's shoulder and the other on his cheek. His voice was soft and rough and it tore through Newt's chest. "I'm so sorry I'm so fucking sorry."  
"It was my choice." Newt stole a quick glance and was winded by the sheer pain on Thomas's face. "I didn't remember you. Until you came here, I only had dreams and now that you're here, I see what I did to you and I-."  
Thomas cut him off. "You have nothing to apologize for. Don't you dare be sorry. You're here now, okay? You're here and I'm here and that's what I want. We'll get out of here. We'll get everyone out of here, and that'll be it. I promise."  
Newt finally looked at Thomas, right in the eyes. They were watery and hard to focus on. He nodded. He felt Thomas's arms close around him and he did the same, burying his face in the other's neck and crying softly. They had to move forward. Things were bad in the Glade; their responsibility was to get everyone safe. That's what they had to do. This could wait. Feelings could wait for now. They could be together, finally, someday when this was all over. He knew it, deep down.   
Newt was slowly coming back, and quickly falling in love.  
-So I, I bet my life, I bet my life/I bet my life on you, on you/So I, I bet my life, I bet my life on you, on you-  
Unsurprisingly, Newt threw caution to the wind. All he had, all his trust, all his secrets, all his mind he put in Thomas. He didn't regret any of it. They were getting there, slowly, finding out what their situation was piece by piece. Figuring out the clues and meeting new people who could never be trusted, getting the story straight. It was exhausting, and of course, thoughts of ending it all returned to him.  
But the promise of a future, the promise of Tommy, drove him onward.   
Everyone else left, eventually. Minho was the exception. It was the three of them, they knew. From the beginning they'd been there. Newt stuck around for them. He wouldn't abandon them, he couldn't. He was The Glue, and whilst he knew he wasn't the most vital, that he was disposable, it didn't stop them from convincing him otherwise.  
The other two could always tell when it was bad for him. Minho saw the way he favored his limp a little bit more and how he twiddled his fingers nervously. Thomas felt it in their secret touches, in the way his arms were a little too tight and how he kissed a little too roughly and how when they were pressed close together he could feel Newt's heart beating a little too fast.  
Reassurances were always available, Minho would put his arm around Newt's shoulder and hum a tune they'd never been able to place, but it was always the same. It was the song that he whispered to him during his days in the infirmary after his accident. Minho had been the one to find him, broken on the soft grass below the tallest tree. Minho had carried him, screaming and yelling for help, not sure if his best friend was going to make it, all the way to Jeff, who hadn't been able to do much. Truth be told, what pulled Newt out of that stupor was Minho's voice. And in those moments, when all seemed lost, it was Minho who pulled him out again.  
Thomas was a different story; not the strong and silent comfort of Minho, rather someone Newt could cling to and cry and let all his emotions pour out of him, and Thomas would hold him and whisper gentle words. He would remind him of his promise, all those months ago, that they had a future. This wasn't the end. He swore on his life.  
Newt was his, and in love.  
-I've been around the world and never in my wildest dreams/Would I come running home to you/I've told a million lies but now I tell a single truth/There's you in everything I do-  
Everything Newt did was for the promise. He carried on. It got hard; betrayals and wounds, some that weren't visible. Newt saw how it hurt Thomas when Teresa's plot was discovered. He couldn't help the feeling of jealousy, of protectiveness. Thomas had protected him. Newt took it upon himself to take as much of the burden as he could from Thomas. He wanted to take it all and leave Thomas safe, get rid of everything that had ever hurt him and heal him. He told himself he could.  
"You know, you breathing down my neck doesn't help anything!" The sharp words Thomas spat at him made Newt flinch.  
He looked with furrowed brows at the boy. "What?"  
"Just leave me alone for a minute!" Thomas was angry and frustrated and didn't realize how badly his words hurt.  
Newt turned and walked away, kicking up sand in the desert and feeling fire burn in his stomach and tears brim in his eyes. He was so tired, he was so fucking tired. He fucked up; Thomas and him weren't the same person, he needed to give him space and let him breathe, he knew. He knew he was overbearing. But it was taking so long. He wanted it to be over and to be able to live without looking over his shoulder and constantly worrying about everyone, about Thomas, about how they would get through the next week, about where they would sleep, about where they were going, about Minho and about the disease and how they didn't know if they were immune. Newt couldn't bear the thought of watching any of his friends turn into one of those...cranks.  
Thomas found him a little later, sitting on the sand and watching the sun fade on the horizon, drawing patterns in the sand with his fingers.  
"I'm sorry." Newt said quietly. "I was being a shuck-face."  
Thomas looked at him and shook his head, reaching down to hold Newt's hand. "Shut up."  
"C'mon, Tommy-." Newt's apology was quickly silenced by Thomas's lips pressed firmly on his own, a welcome interruption. He gently kissed back, that feeling of the promise replacing all of the negative thoughts that wallowed in his mind most of the time.  
Thomas smiled into the kiss and pulled back, eyes warm. "Thank you."  
Before Newt could ask what he was thanking him for, they were close again, the unspoken words Newt had etched into his mind echoing between them. They would make it.  
Newt was determined and in love.  
-Now remember when I told you this was the last you'll see of me/Remember when I broke you down to tears/I know I took the path you would never want for me/I gave you hell through all the years-  
Thomas was immune. Minho was immune. Newt was not immune.  
Thomas was crying. Minho was crying. Newt was already thinking of his plan.   
He couldn't trust Minho with it. He would try to save him. Minho would do everything he could to save Newt, and there was nothing to be done that could save Newt. He was beyond their help.  
Thomas would do it. With the right timing and right place and right goodbye he could do it.  
He felt Thomas's body wrap around him and felt his lips on his cheeks and nose and lips. He responded with a half-hearted squeeze and a sniffle.  
Thomas could do it. Thomas had to do it.  
Newt was sick, determined, and unfortunately, in love.  
-Don't tell me that I'm wrong/I've walked that road before/And left you on your own/And please believe them when they say/That it's left for yesterday/And the records that I've played/Please forgive me for all I've done-  
They were back at it, with renewed efforts and such determination to finish this, to find the cure and save Newt. They knew it wouldn't work, but Newt was the only one to admit it. He could see it in their faces and the way their shoulders slumped when their lead fell short. He heard it in the way they spoke to each other when they thought he was asleep, always the same, Thomas saying they had to keep trying, that he would never stop trying, Minho agreeing, and Thomas would eventually cry. He knew they'd be better off without him.  
He just thanked the same stars as before that they couldn't see what was going on in his head. How it was already affecting him.  
"Tommy, c'mere." Newt called Thomas away from the dim fire and from where Minho was catching up on sleep. Thomas looked up through hazel eyes Newt knew so well, and stood immediately.  
"Are you okay? What's up?" He asked, panic in his voice. He came over to where Newt stood with a crumpled note in one hand and tears in his eyes.  
"I'm sorry about everything." He said slowly, nervously moving his hands around. "You know that, right?"  
Thomas shifted his stance and looked at him with confusion. "What are you talking about?"  
Newt gestured around them. "You could be safe right now, and the only reason you're not is because of me." He held up a hand and stopped Thomas from interrupting. "Don't tell me that I'm wrong. I don't want to let you down again, believe me that's the last thing in the world I want to do. I just need you to say that you forgive me."  
He stepped back, biting his lip and feeling the weight of the paper in his hand. Thomas blinked, tears shining in his eyes.  
"You know I love you, right?" He breathed out shakily, reaching for Newt. "You know?"  
Newt blinked away tears and sniffed. "Yeah, Tommy, yeah I know it. I know it bloody well." He met Thomas's gaze. "Don't you forget that I love you, too, yeah? Even when I turn into one of those things. I'll love you even then."  
"Stop, please, Newt." Thomas shook his head sharply. "Stop saying goodbye to me, dammit. I'll save you. I couldn't before, I couldn't save you in the maze, please let me save you now."  
Newt smiled sadly. "This isn't goodbye. This is a promise."  
Later, when Thomas was asleep, Newt kissed him and pressed the note into his palm, and walked away.  
Newt was sicker, heartbroken, and trying to let go of love.  
-So I, I bet my life, I bet my life/I bet my life on you, on you/So I, I bet my life, I bet my life/I bet my life on you, on you-  
Months passed and Newt slowly fell, not into love, but into madness.  
All that kept him going was the thought that soon he would see Tommy. Tommy would help him. Tommy would save him. He wouldn't think it was saving him. He would think he failed him. He did think he failed him.  
"I can't do this." Thomas had tear stains on his cheeks and a gun pointed at Newt's head.  
"You have to." Newt was on fire. "Do it! Kill me!" He couldn't see straight. He was scared.  
"Newt-"  
"Please, Tommy." He blinked and for a second regained his sanity. He registered Thomas, his Tommy. Underneath it all, through the layers of hurt and sickness and loss, there he was. This was his promise. "Remember my promise?"  
Thomas choked out a sob. "I love you."  
The fire started back up. "I love you too. Please, Tommy."  
Thomas pulled the trigger and screamed.  
Newt, true to his word, was still in love. More than ever.  
I bet my life on you  
Thomas kissed his forehead.  
He bet his life on love

**Author's Note:**

> haha


End file.
